Anybody out there wondering how I am doing? (Aside from my husband's string of comedic updates on social media?)
I have not blogged in months. Months! My excuse? I've been busy.
Now, it is normally a big pet peeve of mine when people say they've been "busy." (I've often been the person standing in line at Starbucks behind the lady saying, “Oh, I’ve just been so busy.” As if busy was code for “important.” She goes on complaining - in this case humble bragging - she has just been promoted at work, she'll be managing hundreds of employees, little Johnny has started practicing for his traveling soccer team; and she has to balance all of this with Katie’s ice skating career, which is really taking off! The conversation goes on to sound like a Christmas letter of the worst kind. All because the speaker is just so "busy!")
But in this case I truly tell you that I've been busy out of sheer delight because all the things that are making me busy are positive things! No surgeries, no devastating doctor's appointments, no prosthetics that are broken beyond repair. With a little fear that I am tempting fate by saying this, I want to report that I finally feel like I have hit a marvelous plateau and sense of “normalcy.”
In my case, I say I am busy with a huge sense of gratitude. I am still sort of amazed that I am driving carpool and making dinner for my family. I've always been given a “pass” when it comes to contributing to the church potluck or bringing an appetizer to a dinner party. Well, I am excited to report that last weekend I brought a (very simple, but time-consuming for me) pasta salad to the covered dish lunch at church. All the other ladies simply slipped their dish into the church kitchen before service and called it a day.
But don't think I didn't loudly and proudly plop mine in there so that everyone would notice. I did everything I could to draw attention my way, announcing: “Here's MY pasta salad! Where shall I put it?” When no heads turned, I cleared my throat and repeated loudly: “Here's MY pasta salad! Where shall I put it?”
I definitely mentioned to some folks in the lunch line that my pasta salad was “further down the banquet table, so you should save room on your plate.” You could even hear me humbly bragging and fishing for compliments: “My pasta salad was edible, huh?” I even received the best compliment of all - I was asked if we could use what was left over for the funeral reception that would take place the following day. “Of course,” I said. “It was just something I threw together. I've been so busy.”
In short, I am overjoyed when I tell you that our household is crazy and chaotic and busy - just like any other family of seven!
Conquering everyday feats is becoming more and more common for me. In fact, I often forget to notice them. Or feel grateful for them. Or, most importantly, give myself props for them. From time to time (OK, most days), I get overwhelmed by my full plate and tend to focus on how long things take, how slow I am, how messy the house is, and all the things I still can't do.
But I am doing things now that I never would have thought possible! I truly am living a more normal life than I ever imagined - so if you see me around some day soon, say, “Kristan, did you ever think you'd be able to… Grocery shop, volunteer at school, hold down the fort while Brook went out of town, hold down a job, fly to New York at the drop of a hat?” Remind me how lucky I am.
And that, all things considered, my update is that I am doing pretty great.